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Letters to the Burger Guys

As Americans, we have a history of 
culinary greatness.
  Our first settlers from Europe arrived here to escape creative kitchen persecution.  The British fought the American Revolution with one hand on a musket and one hand eating a Boston barbequed cheeseburger.  Thousands of young Red Coats died trying to find the secret of Uncle Ben's rice and burgers.  But Americans stood strong, and our dominance in front of the stove and oven has been the envy of every country in the world.  

Before the last  world war, the Europeans and Japanese united to blend Asian and European flavors and spices to try and recapture culinary dominance.  It was a total failure, and their frustration  prompted the sinking of the Bismarck and the bombing of Pearl Harbor.  But again, Americans stood strong and shoulder to shoulder we defended our right to eat and sale cheeseburgers around the world.

The Berlin Wall did not fall because President Ronald Reagan  increased military spending; it fell when the Russian 7th Light Artillery Brigade tore down the barrier to get to the thirty-nine cent Sunday Burger sale at a west side McDonalds.  

It is not a coincidence that the Cold War ended three days after Jack-in-the-Box and Burger King opened franchises two blocks from the Kremlin.  

The French may try and look down their pompous noses at our cuisine, but count the number of Peirre's and then total up the number of our American hamburger restaurants throughout the world.  Chef LaMonde can just shove his caviar up his escargot shells.  We are a dominant world power in front and behind the counter.

Our American chefs have a duty and obligation to present our national food with creativity, flare and love.  Dr. Meat and I are here as a voice that cries out for patriotism and quality.  We expect greatness and will accept nothing less.     

 


As reflective wise man in my 40’s, I fondly recall great hamburger moments in the first half of my lifetime. 

A profound intimate relationship with food is not all that unusual, my expertise happens to lay in the quest for the perfect burger.

It was the early sixties, and my first memory was that of the Kennedy assassination.  I was eating a regular McDonalds hamburger, scraping off those maggot-like freeze dried onions.  Even to this day I associate maggots with death. 

In 1969 I was at a Burger King marveling at my cheeseburger, while the USA was touching on the moon for the first time.  Sesame seed bun, no onions (hey I was a child), and melted cheese, this truly was a “great step for mankind.”

During the turbulent 70’s my quest continued on a road trip to Ohio.  I found myself in a moral battle, do I answer to the man, the very squares that killed the protestors at Kent State.  Or do I look the other way while enjoying a square (shaped) single with cheese, whole leaf lettuce, real onion, and a slice of tomato at the original Wendy’s chain?

The 80’s and 90’s brought an air of adulthood sophistication to my pallet and I broke away from major chain burgers.  I’ve tested the fruits of the South: “Fat Moes”, the Pacific “Cheese Burger in Paradise”, “Moose Burger” in Montana and a host of others.  Oddly enough my quest always comes back to Sacramento, burger capitol of the world.

I will be reviewing burgers I have loved, lost and just plain hated.  Owning a profound and intimate relationship with hamburgers has lead to my title: Dr. Meat.  

In an effort to to eliminate unnecessary variables we tried to get burgers that were similar in their offerings: A bun, a single patty, lettuce, tomato, onion, sauces, pickles, and cheese. Our rating system was based on 100 points, one being the worst and 100 being the best.

 

If you have any questions, advice, reviews, comments,
or tips, address your e-mail to: mcgannmp@yahoo.com

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